Wolves vs Man Utd 1-4: Ruben Amorim’s men survive the calamity button at Wolves

Read on as Sports News Blitz Manchester United resident Robert Bore revels over an expected win over bottom-of-the-table Wolves.

Rock bottom Wolves. Two points all season. Lost their last seven, not scored in five. Eight points off second-bottom Burnley.

The fact that even a win would still leave them 10 points adrift of safety told its own story.

“What could possibly go wrong tonight?” You may have asked yourself.

Strap yourselves in and settle down kids, because this is the wonderful world of Manchester United.

A slam dunk that already felt like a trap

As I sat waiting for the line-ups to drop, the stats couldn't have been any more in Ruben Amorim's men's favour.

Apart from being, well, clearly shite this season, the hosts had won just one of their last 10 Monday night late games.

But as I sat scratching the statistics itch, there was enough seed to cultivate doubt in my mind despite what looks on paper to be the clearest slam-dunk of the season.

With United poised to ascend into sixth spot with a win - or fifth if they could overturn a nine-goal swing - I still had the same confidence of smiling tomorrow as that goat lowered into the T-Rex pen in Jurassic Park.

"What could be troubling you, Mr Bore?" you may ask.

Well, I'll tell you.

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The nerves explained

Of the eight times United have lost to the side bottom of the EPL, two of those have been at Wolves - Kenny Miller doing the damage in January 2004 and big George Elokobi and Kevin Doyle cancelling our Nani's early opener to ruin my birthday in 2011.

United would go on to win the league at least, and those points would see Wolves safe come May.  

Also, our recent record in December is pants, winning just one of our last seven away trips in the month of Christmas.

Maybe it's all the excitement of the impending visit from the big man in red, and I don't mean Benjamin Sesko.

Mind you, excitement would be nice.

The same weekend the Clarets were last tasting victory, United saw off Brighton for a third win on the spin and talk of corner turning was rife. People smiled.

Five games later and, granted, we've nicked a good win at a knackered Crystal Palace but coughed up seven points from winning positions against Nottingham Forest, Spurs and West Ham - and rolled over to 10-man Everton at home.

I had to check my pulse twice through the drab draw against the Hammers in the previous Gameweek to make sure I didn't need a medic.

I needed one once the lineups dropped. One change. Mason Mount for Joshua Zirkzee and my old mate Diogo Dalot with the start. Who do I write to to object?

Early dominance, early irritation and chances galore

Wolves fans were set to stage a protest of their own and stay out for the first 15 minutes of the game as they protested pretty much everything.

While returning boss Rob Edwards - former coach and player - tried to arrest the slump and somehow avoid a quick return to the Championship after leaving high-flying Middlesbrough.

The game began decently enough, Matheus Cunha lightly booed upon his first touch, and Bryan Mbuemo megging his marker inside two minutes.

Bruno Fernandes tested former United youngster Sam Johnstone with an inswinging corner that the keeper needed to punch to safety.

The Wolves midfield looked to be more open than ours as United passed through the lines easily, Cunha unlucky not to put Mbeumo in, while Dalot annoyed me twice in the space of two minutes, firstly trying to buy a foul with a ridiculous dive and wail.

More importantly, he should have scored with Wolves’ defence caught napping as Bruno found his compatriot in acres of space, and he sped goalwards, Johnstone saving well to his left.

Mbeumo then forced another save, and Noussair Mazraoui had a fierce effort deflected for a corner. There were barely 10 minutes on the clock.

Control without clarity as Wolves hang on

Wolves weren't completely docile, mind you.

Jørgen Strand Larsen was denied by Mazraoui from reaching an intended cross. There was an influx of home fans on the quarter hour as predicted, which ramped the noise up a couple of levels.

If anything, United were overplaying a little. It felt like they were trying to create a perfect opening while their hosts were as deep as you'd expect a team used to losing to be.

Too many touches but a lack of incision, and we were halfway through the opening period.

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A scrappy breakthrough and a breathless spell

It felt ripe for a sucker punch, to be honest. But instead it was United who struck, more of a limp slap than a hammer blow if truth be told.

Andre held the ball for far too long and was tackled by fellow Brazilian Casemiro.

Cunha then pounced and looked to have gone round his marker, but unselfishly squared the ball to Fernandes.

Fernandes slipped, regained both his feet and the ball ahead of the defender, and despite being bundled over somehow managed to get a weak-looking effort away.

The shot clipped a defending toe, rolled up Johnstone’s arm, and somehow nestled in the back of the net to break the deadlock in the 25th minute.

It should have been two soon after, Mount, Cunha and Fernandes combining deliciously with the latter putting Mbuemo in behind again.

The former Brentford man's stabbed effort was saved by Johnstone, back out to Cunha, who saw his follow-up blocked on the line by a defender and back out to Amad Diallo, who could only fire just wide of the post.

It was all a bit breathless.

Dalot did send over a lovely cross with the outside of his right foot that Cunha would have probably converted had Toti Gomes not cleared, while Cunha's header went behind off a Wolves man, and Amad had a goalbound effort blocked.

Mbuemo went into the book for a Paul Scholes tackle after losing the ball to Jhon Arias, then racing half the pitch to scythe him like harvested wheat.

The inevitable collapse before half-time

Wolves were gash, let's make no bones about it, but they showed glimpses of danger, whether it be the odd ball across the box or run in behind. And after the last few weeks, the calamity button was primed for action.

Jean-Ricner Bellegarde, World Cup-bound with Haiti, showed another glimpse, although his shot almost landed in my garden.

The fact the hosts had not had a shot on goal yet - there was still only a goal in it - made the prospect of a United implosion almost feel inevitable.

And then it happened...

With 20 or so seconds of the half left. Someone pressed the button.

United had retreated more as the half went on and lost their shape.

The initial cross-field ball was poor but recycled well on the right and switched out on the volley to  David Møller Wolfe on the left, who, while Diallo stood watching, somewhat scruffily lashed it back across goal where Bellegarde stretched to end a run of 539 Premier League minutes without a goal.

It was 1-1. Wolves had built some pressure, and United had crumbled again.  

All that possession and all those shots, up in a cloud of smoke, the embers of Amorim's team talk smouldered in his mouth while his players trudged off awaiting a deserved bollocking.

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United respond and finally cut loose

Second half. United would have to go again.

They started positively. Amad was dancing around the edge of the box before squaring for Cunha, who lashed high over the bar. Seconds late,r he had a shot deflected wide, but the players looked to have a flea in their ears.  

Mount played a delightful first-time ball as Mbuemo again ran in behind, squaring for Cunha, who couldn't get a clean strike away under pressure and good defence from the home side.

The pressure told.

Wolves lost the ball in the United half as Shaw robbed their goalscorer and the visitors broke at pace.

Cunha into Dalot out left, who unselfishly squared for Mbuemo to put Johnstone out of the game and allow the United dangerman to slide the ball into an empty net.

To their credit, Wolves came again, an unhealthy game of head tennis and general Sunday morning defending in the United six-yard box did nothing for my blood pressure, but the danger was cleared, and we were not far off the hour mark.

Fernandes conducts as United find their class

United looked to have put it to bed in the 63rd minute with a real bit of class.

Bruno saw a shot blocked, but United recycled and their skipper lofted an impeccable ball over the defence for Mount to run onto and fire home.

It was coming.

And unsurprising Fernandes was involved, making it assists in five consecutive away Premier League games and becoming only the fifth player to achieve said feat, along with Muzzy Izzet, Cesc Fabregas, Gerard Deulofeu and current hot topic Mohamed Salah.

Cunha's diving header was denied as United came again, Mount and Bruno now pulling more strings than the Manchester Philharmonic in the acres of space available to them.

Amorim decided to change his defence, again. Mazraoui and Heaven were replaced by Lisandro Martinez and Leny Yoro, while Wolves did three swaps as wel,l but I needed a breather.

United now needed another seven goals to go into fifth.

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Cunha’s frustration, VAR drama and the icing on the cake

Cunha was clearly desperate to score against his old club, with numerous efforts and chasing every ball. He was clearly pissed with Amad after he held on to it for too long after the Brazilian had made another darting run.

Casemiro made way for Kobbie Mainoo, who received a rapturous reception from the travelling faithful - point made.

Amad saw a couple of efforts blocked, and there was a handball check with VAR, similar to one in the first half, as the defender appeared to lean into a block, but that one was cleared.

I've seen both given before, so much so that there was an on-field review, and it was given against a protesting Yerson Mosquera.

Fernandes stepped up and found the corner. Personally, I'd have let Cunha have it.

Two more United changes saw Zirkzee and Patrick Dorgu on for Dalot, who, to be fair, had played decent enough - and Mount, who was bristling all game and looking every inch the Chelsea star of old.

Job done, but perspective still required

Nine added minutes were uneventful, which helped this already bloated word count, but a win is a win, even if after a side who might end up being the worst in EPL history.

Hardly a barometer of progress and certainly no reason for the ceremonial trumpets to come out, but after recent games and another pressing of the calamity button just before half-time, I'll take it.

Maybe more an indictment of the current state of the Premier League that Amorim's men are only a point off the Champions League places and a mere eight off the leaders.

Stranger things may happen, but probably only on Netflix.

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