Manchester United will have woken up on Monday morning with mixed emotions - relief at earning a point from a thrilling 4-4 draw with Aston Villa at Old Trafford, then concern at being in the relegation zone after 10 Premier League games.
The Red Devils have decided to stick with underfire manager Michael Carrick despite their poor form and perilous position.
And Sports News Blitz’s Man Utd writer Robert Bore picks through Sunday’s eight-goal thriller, in which United’s defensive frailties were exposed once again.
Villa (h) November 8
I should have known better.
I really, really should have known better.
Leaving Old Trafford on Tuesday night it felt like I’d finally seen some teeth.
After a frankly pathetic first half in which my old mate Diogo Dalot was culpable for another couple of goals, United made a passable impression of a football team by snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.
And while one swallow doesn’t make a summer, it was perhaps fair to assume that there may be some sort of bounce going into this game, against a Villa side not known for enjoying their visits to M16 0RA.
That’s not unreasonable is it?
Spanner in the works
Well, Take That might only take a minute but Villa only took 59 seconds - throwing a spanner into my proverbial works and making a mockery of my positivity.
Of course, my guy Dalot was involved, drawn too centrally ball-watching from his left-back berth as Villa worked the ball across to the right, leaving himself no recovery time before Alysson smashed through Senne Lammens’ gaping legs.
The Calamity Button hadn’t even gone off, it was still walking over to its seat with a pie and a pint.
By the time we’d hit three minutes and 42 seconds Villa were two-ahead and my flabber was well and truly gasted.
The free-kick was swung over and the Calamity Button kicked into gear, wiping pastry crumbs off its lap before blinking loudly.
Leny Yoro didn’t get enough on his header and it dropped nicely for Alysson, who saw his low effort parried away by Lammens. Nicolas Jackson was on his toes to gobble up the chance.
“You’re not to wear the shirt,” rang out into the Manchester air. Villa fans went full limbs.
Big chance for Bruno
Bruno Fernandes flashed a weak effort wide in the first real foray forward as United tried to compose themselves after the shock.
In their second there was a lifeline.
Matheus Cunha, hero of midweek, ran at the Villa backline and drew the foul out of Boubacar Kamara and after an unnecessary VAR delay Fernandes was handed the task of reducing the deficit.
He made no mistake with his 45th United spot-kick converted from 51.
Cunha forced a good save out of Zion Suzuki with a long-range curler and he did well to claim at the second attempt from the resulting corner.
Fernandes’ effort curled narrowly wide and Kobbie Mainoo’s strike was held by the keeper as United ramped up the pressure.
Suzuki almost got caught out by the United skipper’s near-post cross before Amad Diallo’s shot was deflected narrowly past the post.
Effort fluffed
From the resulting corner Dalot fluffed an effort well wide. We were just before the half hour and United were well on top.
Dalot sold his team-mate short with another reckless pass into trouble but United survived, then Maguire caught the bug, knocking the ball 20 yards into touch.
Amad fired wide again after more positive play.
United were playing well and they should have been level just before the break when Amad was released by Youri Tielemans but Suzuki palmed the ball out and it fell inches away from Bryan Mbeumo.
Incredibly, they did level seconds later.
First United goal for Tielemans
Noussair Mazraoui was on the surge and chopped the ball back from close to the byline where former Villa man Youri Tielemans was on hand to bag his first United goal. It was Roma all over again.
Villa almost went back ahead immediately, Dalot done for pace as Alyson raced in, lifting the ball over Lammens but inches wide of the far corner.
For all United’s dominance over the last half hour, it was a timely reminder of their shortcoming at the back, the visitors slicing through them with a couple of passes.
The ref called time on a daft opening period.
Ayden Haven replaced (the presumably injured) Harry Maguire at the break. This couldn’t be as crazy a half as the first, could it?
Yeah, it could.
Amateur lunge
Barely a couple of minutes in and Captain Calamity was at it again, Dalot felling Alysson in the box with all the poise and subtlety of a p*ssed-up rhino.
It was a disgustingly amateur lunge from an international player. The ref tooted on his whistle and even Fernandes didn’t complain, it was that poor of a challenge.
John McGinn stepped up from the spot and restored Villa’s lead. All that hard work undone by another Portuguese brain fart.
It would get worse. And while this time it wasn’t Dalot, the United defence truly is bloody shocking.
Fernandes was penalised for a foul and the resulting free-kick was swung over to the far post where Yoro inexplicably headed towards the top corner of his own goal as he tried to clear.
He could have left it to fly out dead.
Instead Lammens needed to steer it onto his own crossbar but as it dropped Leon Goretka reacted quickest to convert on the line.
Villa’s two-goal lead was back intact within eight second-half minutes.
I have written this a million times, United had to go again.
No verve from United
Cunha fired wide but the verve of the first half simply wasn’t there.
Carrick made more changes with 25 minutes left, Shea Lacey, so impressive when he came on against Roma, and the returning Patrick Dorgu on for Amad and Dalot.
The cheer when the Portuguese went off was as loud as a goal. And the Calamity Button let out an audible sigh of relief.
Cunha fired at the keeper, Fernandes wasted another over the crossbar from range and Villa looked relatively comfortable.
Then not much happened at all apart from a flurry of substitutions, mostly for Villa but including the mannequin that is Joshua Zirkzee on for Mbeumo.
Freedom of midfield
For Villa, Ross Barkley looked to have the freedom of a midfield that appeared bereft of anyone in red.
I thought Dalot had come back on as another shocking pass was played into a Villa man, but it was the lesser-spotted Mason Mount.
Barkley ran 30 yards without a challenge but his shot was weak while Mazraoui directed a five-yard header straight to a Villa player in another example of Sunday League defending.
Mount hit the crossbar after hooking Fernandes’ cross goalwards but the game was petering out along with, presumably Carrick’s tenure. Penny for his thoughts.
He cut a forlorn figure.
Chink of light
But then a chink of light in the dark as Dorgu crossed low from the left for Zirkzee to convert.
Four and a half minutes left, and a goal in it.
Mount slashed at the ball from the edge of the box as time ebbed away and Villa scrambled a dangerous Lacey cross away for a corner in the last seconds. Then it happened.
Fernandes flighted it right into Suzuki’s congested six-yard box, but he was too flat-footed to jump through the traffic around him - Lammens also making a nuisance of himself.
He fluffed his lines badly as Dorgu got his head onto it and we were level.
It was as remarkable as it was bonkers.
The players trudged off with faces like thunder, quite why they looked so p*ssed when they were responsible for these crimes against defending I don’t know.
But it was telling that two injury-time goals still felt like a loss.
The stats, should you put credence into such things, told their own story of the game, where United were probably worth more than the four goals they scored.
But you can’t concede goals in the manner or at the rate they are.
Support for Carrick
As for Carrick, the support for the manager echoed around a (by then) sparsely-populated Old Trafford at full-time, even if he looked like a man walking into the dentist for a double root canal.
This has also been said numerous times but there is no mettle in the side. No bottle. There’s no warriors.
And the sheer recklessness of having Dalot in the side is a sackable offence in itself, in my opinion at least.
What young left-back Harry Amass must be thinking as he watches the right-back play even worse out of position than he does in-position, I can only imagine.
I’m not going through the same diatribe on the owners and the state of the squad - even I am bored of it.
But the anti-Glazer protests grow stronger, for what good they will ultimately do.
They ain’t selling their cash cow. No matter how much we want them to.
So we enter the international break third bottom, with the prospect of a trip to Anfield looming in a fortnight .
Can’t wait (rolls eyes).
Unless this is all a ruse to finish 18th and be spared relegation when Man City get demoted.
More likely we both go down…
